...I lied. I'm not. I'm no where even close to that.
I try to push the thoughts away but they just sit there. Torturing me every freaking second of the day. I'll simply sit, and stare blankly about the room. Not at anything in particular. My mind remains empty, save for those stupid annoying I would prefer if they never crossed my mind again thoughts. In fact, every time I write a post...or heck even read one of the last two I've written. I have to fight the tears. I can't let on that I'm this frustrated over ...(rubs eyes and takes several deep breaths)...over this whole thing. I'd prefer if he just left already. Please, dont make me .....just don't make me have to go through this again. I beg you. All I need to do is survive another 336 days. That's it. Then I'm free to go. Then I can leave and never have to worry about going through this again.
God. I'm sorry I lied to all of you. But apparently I'm not sorry enough to stop. So next time you ask how I am, and I say "I'm fine" Don't believe me. I'll be lying to you.
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