Why do I do this? Because part of me wants someone to know what's going on inside my head. When the rest of me is screaming DON'T DO IT! It's then calmly assured that no one is ever going to read this. One, because they have to be invited and 2 because no one even remembers that this thing is here. I guess it's just the fact that there is that slight risk, the slight chance that someone might read it that makes me want to keep it up here.
It's odd, how a blog that no one reads can have such an affect on me. This blog has documented some of my hardest times, feelings and emotions that even my journal hasn't seen. It's where I can be completely real with both myself and the world on what's going on. Without the risk that my Mom might pick up my journal and start reading what's really going on with me. Of course that can't happen anyways. She's some 700+ miles away, but you get the idea. It's just some place where I can be completely real with myself. Where I can be completely honest. 100% me. Maybe someday, I'll take pieces of this blog and shove it into a novel. Who knows?
The only thing that I do know is that this blog, no matter how old and run down it's looking, has affected me in a tremendous way. It was and still is my outlet, a way for me to express myself without worry of how those thoughts might affect other people. And even though the posting has been sporadic, this blog has never been removed from the blogsphere.
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